The German House Part 2

We’ve been in the house for over a month now and things are settling down. Derek is very much in charge of the kitchen, loves cooking and is gradually building our capability with the addition of sauces, herbs and spices and the odd frying pan – we now have three, all different sizes.

For my part I’ve found Lea and Perrins sauce and Marmite in a local store aptly named Western Canned Foods. I’ve also cooked all the recipes I can remember without a book, so Delia on line will be getting a few visits soon.

The maid is gradually getting the hang of having three men around instead of one, though Mike’s bedroom and bathroom still seem to get better service than Derek’s or mine. She buys for us but that is a bit hit and miss. Last time I gave her a list she substituted cauliflower with green beans and a bell pepper with a birds eye chilli, still we managed to make something edible out of it.

There were a number of problems when we arrived and I’m pleased to be able to report most of them have been fixed. One of the last was Derek’s bathroom door which had swollen and would not close – this was resolved when we saw a carpenter going next door and the maid dragged him in and set him to work here instead. We’ve even been given cable tv which was a bonus and finally got our broadband connection when the landlady understood we were not expecting her to pay for it.

One disappointment though is my bathroom – no hot water. They could fix Derek’s by adjusting the thermostat on the water heater, but when they built the house they didn’t install hot water in the top bathroom. Which explains why I don’t get any. All taps are connected to the cold water supply.

We share the house with, in decreasing order of size, Geckos, cockroaches, mosquitoes and Ants. The latter appear in their hundreds if the smallest morsel of food is left on the kitchen side. We don’t know where they come from or go to but when they are around they are in force. We’ve given up any attempts at control. We eat them as a garnish and wipe them up like spilt tea on the tiled work surfaces. Our food scraps go in a small bin in the corner and this is ant central, though again it’s impossible to see where they are coming from. They get into any plastic bags of food, so most stuff stays in the fridge and bagged goods are decanted into plastic containers – another growth industry for us.

Geckos, small lizards which proclaim their territory by laughing like something out of the film Gremlins, are to be encouraged – despite their tendency to get territorial in the early hours of the morning. They eat all insects including mosquitoes. I share my room with at least three and we had one in the sink for nearly a whole day, it was sitting very still assuming that if it didn’t move then we couldn’t see it. He was one of the biggest – about 2 inches long.

We decided to adopt a policy of mutual disregard with the cockroaches. We don’t bother them and they don’t bother us. The mosquitoes are another matter. There is an ornamental water feature in the yard which fills up in the rain and quickly becomes a breeding ground. Then they come into the kitchen at sunset and feast. I picked up 20 bites last week so open warfare has been declared. The water feature is drained on a regular basis, coils burn in the kitchen and jumbo size insect sprays have been purchased. The mosquitoes still seem to be winning though.
I didn’t mention the jumping spiders either. They look like miniscule tarantulas and when you get too close they jump covering enormous distances for their size.

We haven’t had a housewarming yet, but plan to do so in August, but everyone who has been here is well impressed with the place, the space the facilities and the location. I’m just hoping I do get another placement sorted out, Derek and Mike can’t afford a place like this without my contribution!

A photo test!

This is the Hanoi Opera House, complete with obligatory motorbikes. The Vietnamese language employs a lot of composite words, so the literal translation of the Vietnamese for this building is "House big sing" Its spectacular and just out of shot to the right is the Hilton Hanoi, built in a matching style. Not that I've ever been in on a volunteers salary.

Well, at long last I've worked out how to put a photo in the text. Still not worked out how to do all the other things yet.

I was going to add a link to my Justgiving site, but that expired at the beginning of this week so not much point in that now. Looks like normal service will be resumed when we get the home internet sorted - that's about one weekend away, we hope.

The Bia Hoi - from 16th July

Bia Hoi are found all over Hanoi, we’ve been to a few big ones which can easily seat over 100 customers and have extensive menus and the smallest I’ve seen comprised three guys squatting on the pavement around a small plastic stool with a tray of four glasses, a cloth, a bag of nuts and a single ten litre keg of this freshly brewed, light and refreshing drink, which translates as fresh beer.

Sunday evening I’d cooked tea, Mike was not due back for a while and Derek said “I fancy a beer”. I concurred so we strolled out into the street and wandered down to a small establishment we pass most days, maybe the local equivalent of the Rovers Return.

This place is a room about 3 metres square which opens onto the street. Last Thursday evening, as I cycled past in the storm, flood water was lapping on the top step and the bow wave from passing motor bikes was sending small tsunamis running the length of the room. Tonight it was dry and there were just three locals and the owner sitting at one of the three tables. Just inside the doorway there’s a large, shiny, insulated steel cabinet which houses the small wooden kegs of beer and the large blocks of ice which keep them cool. The current keg is attached to a single tap which protrudes from the side of the cabinet just above ground level. A plastic slops bowl sits below the tap beside a bowl of water where the barman rinses used glasses before returning them to the plastic storage tray on top of the cabinet.

We walked in, were looked up and down and given two glasses of frothy beer by the now smiling landlord. As we picked up our glasses he produced his own and clinked glasses with us to a chorus of what sounds like “chocks away” but is actually Vietnamese for cheers. The three guys joined in the toast. We sat and watched the brisk takeaway business as people arrived with an assortment of containers which were carefully filled. If it was a litre bottle filling was straight from the tap, if the volume of the container was unknown then an empty glass was borrowed from one of the barflies and the golden nectar measured out in glass fulls. The barfly would then get his glass back refilled. The departing plastic bottles did remind me of industrial size urine samples!

As we settled into our second glass we were asked where we were from (no, we’re not Germans) and Derek successfully purchased a single cigarette for a few pence. We were now thoroughly integrated and Derek was admiring banana leaf wrapped pork sausages whilst saying he didn’t eat meat. For such a small operation the selection of bar snacks was impressive. The usual foul tasting monkey nuts were supplemented by the sausages and what turned out to be dried fish hanging like pork scratchings in a bag on the wall. We watched as the owner skilfully laid pieces of what looked like Bombay duck which had been under a steam roller into a small grilling frame before… dropping it on the floor. He picked it up, dusted it down, put it back in the frame and burned it black over paraffin ignited in a rice bowl. We decided to try some, much to his surprise and approval. The fish duly arrived hot and hard with some chilli sauce just as Mike strode in. The pub was now crowded, all three tables had three or four patrons and an additional table had been set up outside. Odd words of English were being produced by our Vietnamese drinking friends along with loud demonstrations of how to pronounce Vietnamese words correctly. The pub pipe was out and various customers were taking it in turns to fill it with tobacco and smoke. Actually, looking at the colour of the smoke they could have been filling it with twigs and dried leaves or even shreds of rubber tyre.

We finished pulling our teeth out on the leather like fish, had a couple more beers – ten between the three of us and then headed home. As we left the landlord shook hands with each of us, like we had been friends for years. Our extravagant evening had cost just over £1.50.

As I walked home past the Bia Hoi the next night I was greeted by a chorus of cheers, smiling faces and waving arms. I waved back and declined the invitation to join the throng, but I suspect we will go back there again.

The Taxi - Sat 22nd July

Saturday night we went to a party at the other VSO house at West Lake. We took a taxi there, a guy who actually knew where he was going for a change and it cost 70,000VND, just over £2.

It was a good evening, we ate at the local Bia Hoi and had a few drinks then back to the house where we had chance to catch up with a few volunteers who we had not seen since the conference in June. I had to tell my story several times as a few people were not up to date with my unemployed status.

As the evening wore on, Mike decided to stay over, Derek had already gone home so Richard Alice and I decided to get a taxi back. We walked out onto the main road and after a few minutes flagged one down.

The guy looked at us and after a few attempts he understood where we wanted to go. He didn’t attempt to negotiate a price but just leaned over and switched on the meter which kicked off at an unusually low 7,000VND starting price – it’s usually 9,000VND in a small taxi and 11,000VND in a large taxi.

He took off using his horn extremely enthusiastically, even when there was no traffic he was beeping away furiously. We sat and chatted about the evening, life, the universe and everything, and I noted the meter seemed to be jacking up the Dong a lot faster than usual. At first I assumed it was a late night tariff thing – it was close to midnight. Then Richard spotted we were going a very convoluted route. Even Alice started to say that the fare was way too expensive. I pointed at the meter and shook my head. The driver glared back and hooted his horn even louder. At one point the meter jumped from 350,000VND to 420,000VND. By now I was not sure whether to laugh and Richard’s stream of derision from the back seat had become continuous.

Soon after we reached our drop off point and the driver pulled over. He looked at me and at the meter which now showed the enormous sum of 478,000VND just over £16 and eight times the cost of getting to the party. I waved my hand dismissively at the meter and asked in my best Vietnamese what the fare was. He looked at the meter, then at me and held up two fingers, he wanted 200,000VND – only three times the cost. I didn’t have chance to answer, there were howls of protest from the back seat as both Alice and Richard screamed in unison “too much”.

By now the guy was looking flustered but continuing to hold up two fingers (was he expressing an opinion I wondered) I took out a 100,000VND note and gave it to him. He said something and held out his hand again. I shook my head and said no, Alice was already out of the car and I followed, we had a fight to get Richard’s door open then all three of us were on the pavement and the taxi shot off – horn noticeably silent. Richard looked after him and said “I bet the bugger had the meter hooked into the horn!” I can’t help but think that he was right.

The German House

Last Sunday was a red letter day for Mike, Derek and I. We moved out of hotels and into our house - home for the next seventy weeks. We called it the German house as the previous tenant, who we met once, was a german lecturer at one of the universities here in Hanoi.

What we didn't realise at the time was that he owned most of the furniture, so it was a pretty empty house we moved into. Three of us and only two beds - Derek is sleeping on a bed settee, his choice as it means he gets aircon and a ceiling fan.

The house has five floors, a small yard and three balconies two of which are covered and have garden furniture. The ground floor has a small lounge, dining kitchen downstairs loo and store room. The first floor has a large and empty lounge, a double bedroom and a bathroom. The second floor has two bedrooms, a small balcony and a bathroom. The third floor has a bathroom with washing machine, a large balcony with plants and what we hope will become our spare bedroom. Currently it is locked and contains a family altar and shrine. The fourth and top floor has a large bedroom which is too hot to use as such and an open balcony terrace with views over the area.

The house also comes with a maid - Thai. She does not speak much english and has looked after the house for four years. I should have realised my expectations were not going to be met when we asked her what budget she needed for cleaning materials. Through an interpreter she replied she did not need any budget for cleaning materials as she had her own duster. She preferred this as it was quicker. Hmmmm.

As the German was on his own only the first two floors had been used for the last four years. No way is a duster going to make any impact in my bathroom. Anyway if she tries to clean the floor in there she will have to use a wet cloth since the toilet is leaking all over the place.

Mike has the bedroom previously used by the German. This has the added advantage of being built into Thai's daily routine, so he regularly gets his wardrobe rearranged whilst Derek and I have to arrange our own. Its also a bit of a lottery as to who gets whose laundry.

My bedroom is ok, the flourescent light has a habit of self igniting in lightening storms which is a bit disconcerting at 3am and I thought I had lace curtains on the windows, but they were just four year old cobwebs. I don't think it will be long before Thai and I are discussing the definition of cleaning!

Mind you, I can see that some of it is not her fault, what I thought was dirt in my bath turned out to be where someone once mixed concrete.

Meal times are fun, we are gradually gathering a collection of cooking implements, got rid of the mouse droppings out of the cupboards and drawers, fixed the cupboard doors back, found the switch for the extract fan, accepted that we are going to be eaten by mosquitos while ever the door is open and got used to not leaning on the table as the top falls off if we do.

All our efforts to make the hot water work above the first floor have failed and the legs have dropped off a settee we found in the store cupboard and moved to the lounge. Appart from that it is fine.

Shop eat shop eat etc

I've tried a few interesting foods since we got here, egret did not do it for me and much of the duck and chicken they serve around here is inedible, certainly my teeth are not strong enough to tear it apart. Fish and prawns on the other hand are delicious and big and very cheap. We went to another pub a couple of nights ago, again they spoke German rather than English as a second language but we managed to order a hot pot, or fondue as they call it in some places, or boiled broth in yet other establishments.

Our meal comprised two enormous black fish with vegetables, noodles, fried tofu, boiled tofu and two types of spring rolls. The whole lot cost ten pounds including eight beers and the peanuts and it was delicious.

I have inadvertantly eaten more frogs, or was it dogs - the average vietnamese pronounces English words as bad as I do the vietnamese words and I still have not been courageous enough to try the fried scorpions or roast stink bugs, or brittle pigs stomach, or fish intestines, or chickens testicles (is that a small meal or one involving many cockrels?)

Anyway the food adventures are now interspersed with shopping adventures as we prepare to move into our house.

Today it rained like never before, just as in the UK a whole raft of shops suddenly displayed umbrellas and ponchos. Ponchos here are designed for motorbikes, so they have a transparent panel in the stomach area so you can see the dials and many have two hoods, one behind the other so the passenger can share the protection. I have not seen any with five head holes, so I don't know what families do. Anyway one of these shops had an umbrella that looked like it might work. I wandered up and looked interested. The device was unpacked and demonstrated, all its fine qualities were displayed and finally the price, 120,000 dong. I looked shocked. Four pounds for an umbrella, I could get it for that in England. The haggling began - I'm still useless at this process. The whole transaction took fifteen minutes and I am now the proud owner of an umbrella which cost 100,000 dong - I saved about 66 pence. At the same time I still know I paid over the odds.

The next stop was a market for sheets for the beds in our new home, pity we don't know the sizes of the beds. In the event it made no difference. The market just sells material so you have to make your own up and the maximum width of material will only do a single bed, so all sheets are joined somewhere in the middle. Hmmm lets try the supermarket. They had pillows and pillow cases and towels but no bedding. Time for a coffee. We reflected on the events of the day. It looks like we might need to plan a lot more time for shopping for the house. Still that can wait until after the next meal. Life is really hard here, eat drink shop sleep and the odd bit of work. Must tell you about that next time. Chao.