Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs - here to help?
At the weekend I decided I could not put off the onerous task of the annual tax return any longer and so I logged on to the self assessment website to find that I am no longer able to use it.
During this year I was granted non-resident status for tax purposes. What they didn't mention was that this removes my ability to file a tax return on line. Self assessment via the net no longer applies to those who are thousands of miles from their tax office and would therefore most benefit from it.
Now this is a source of concern since the deadline for paper returns has just passed and I my paper return is somewhere in a pile of unopened post in Nottingham. So I rang the self assessment helpline to ask what my options were. I successfully answered the five security questions after which the nice young lady told me that I could not use on-line self assessment, but she couldn't tell me what my options were since my tax records were held somewhere else. She could give me the number for that office but that was all. I took the number and dialed it.
"Hello you are through to Deborah" the voice was not welcoming. The voice was that of a member of the Stazi in a bad mood. I failed the security checks. How was I to remember the mobile phone number I left behind in the UK in 2006? Who knows their company pension reference number off the top of their head?? Now she was suspicious, officious and mean - I was obviously a terrorist trying to blow up the phone line. "You have failed the security checks I cannot access your records or tell you anything" "But how can you expect me to remember a phone number I have not used for two years?" "I ask zee questions" (actually she said "the advisor has choice of the security questions")
I persisted and explained my plight, she softened - slightly "what is your postcode?" I gave her the address of my parents house. "No the postcode where you live" "I live in Hanoi, Vietnam and they don't have postcodes" (in fact they rarely deliver post). "THEN I CANNOT HELP YOU!" she said. "YOU will have to put your request in writing to this office" "But it will take 5 weeks to reach you" I replied "YOU have had since April the 6th" she retorted "and where is this office?" I asked meekly....... Silence (she didn't know if she could answer this question or not) I let her off the hook "It's South Yorkshire isn't it? I'm sure I can find the address" "Yes" she replied. "Thanks for your help" I said "You must put your request in writing, goodbye" she said with an air of finality.
So I guess I'm screwed.
During this year I was granted non-resident status for tax purposes. What they didn't mention was that this removes my ability to file a tax return on line. Self assessment via the net no longer applies to those who are thousands of miles from their tax office and would therefore most benefit from it.
Now this is a source of concern since the deadline for paper returns has just passed and I my paper return is somewhere in a pile of unopened post in Nottingham. So I rang the self assessment helpline to ask what my options were. I successfully answered the five security questions after which the nice young lady told me that I could not use on-line self assessment, but she couldn't tell me what my options were since my tax records were held somewhere else. She could give me the number for that office but that was all. I took the number and dialed it.
"Hello you are through to Deborah" the voice was not welcoming. The voice was that of a member of the Stazi in a bad mood. I failed the security checks. How was I to remember the mobile phone number I left behind in the UK in 2006? Who knows their company pension reference number off the top of their head?? Now she was suspicious, officious and mean - I was obviously a terrorist trying to blow up the phone line. "You have failed the security checks I cannot access your records or tell you anything" "But how can you expect me to remember a phone number I have not used for two years?" "I ask zee questions" (actually she said "the advisor has choice of the security questions")
I persisted and explained my plight, she softened - slightly "what is your postcode?" I gave her the address of my parents house. "No the postcode where you live" "I live in Hanoi, Vietnam and they don't have postcodes" (in fact they rarely deliver post). "THEN I CANNOT HELP YOU!" she said. "YOU will have to put your request in writing to this office" "But it will take 5 weeks to reach you" I replied "YOU have had since April the 6th" she retorted "and where is this office?" I asked meekly....... Silence (she didn't know if she could answer this question or not) I let her off the hook "It's South Yorkshire isn't it? I'm sure I can find the address" "Yes" she replied. "Thanks for your help" I said "You must put your request in writing, goodbye" she said with an air of finality.
So I guess I'm screwed.
posted by Marvin.. at Tuesday, November 04, 2008
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